By Freda Freeman
Correspondent
Although a joy, for many grandparents, raising their grandchildren is challenging and costly.
Pamela Mason, of Raleigh, has raised eight grandchildren, including five living with her: three teenagers and 6-year-old twins. Mason doesn’t get much financial assistance and often looks forward to getting help from local charitable organizations, especially during holidays.
“As far as the much-needed financial help, I don’t get that because my grandchildren have never been in foster care. It’s not easy, it’s not easy at all,” Mason said, explaining that foster parents receive financial assistance from the state and federal government for taking children into their homes, but grandparents don’t.
“We’re basically invisible. We’re not seen at all, … and that’s where BAGS comes in to give me that help, give you resources, give you some sort of knowledge, some kind of support.”
Being a Grandparent Support is a nonprofit organization that serves as a one-stop virtual access point providing grandparents who have custodial care of their grandchildren with information, resources, connections and advocacy. The organization primarily connects grandparents with direct services in Wake and Johnston counties, but its resources also stretch to other counties and states. BAGS’s motto is: “When the bags of life get too heavy, we’re here to support.”
Founder Genita Spencer, of Clayton, said BAGS supports three groups of grandparents. “Grandparents who are raising their grandchildren is the biggest group that we have. In 2019, there were 90,000 children in North Carolina that went into 85,000 grandparents’ homes.
“Our second group is grandparents who are estranged or cut off from their grandchildren. The third are grandparents who are or aspire to be entrepreneurs who need education and resources,” she said.
Spencer said some of the reasons grandparents are raising their grandchildren is because the children’s parents may be addicted to drugs, have mental health problems or are incarcerated. Through BAGS, grandparents can find mental health, educational, legal, youth, and food resources and information about other organizations that partner with BAGS.
Spencer started BAGS in 2020 after becoming severely depressed when she couldn’t see her young grandsons during the COVID-19 pandemic. A friend, who reminded her that she always wanted to do something for grandparents, suggested she start a private Facebook group. The group started with eight grandparents in 2020. A year later, more than 100 grandparents throughout the country had joined, and by 2022, there were 200, ranging in age from 38 to 80.
“We’d share information and words of wisdom, but as the group grew, the problems grew. People started reaching out with questions and their problems. I talked to God and asked, ‘how am I going to handle this?’ I got a mentor who said, ‘you can be the connection to the need, you don’t have to provide the need directly.’ That’s when I filed to start a nonprofit organization,” Spencer said.
BAGS, which is supported by donations, holds four community projects a year. In December, there was Bags, Boxes, and Bows Christmas Joy, in which the group gave families bikes, toys, laptops, gift cards, food and other necessities. Through its food insecurity program, BAGS partners with local organizations, like Blessing Box in Johnston County and Stop Hunger in Wake County, to provide food for grandparents and their families. BAGS also presents two Grandparent Community Service Awards, recognizing two grandparents for their volunteer work, at its anniversary celebration in August.
New this year is Gowns 4 Girls, Tuxes 4 Boys with a Sprinkle of Cuts and Curls. Hoping to create a magical evening, BAGS is seeking donations of gowns, tuxedo, and suits to send 50 teenagers to their prom. The collection runs Feb. 1 to March 8. BAGS also needs barbers and hairstylists to volunteer to cut and style hair. Drivers are also needed to drive teens to the prom. To volunteer or donate, go to bagsgoodlife.org. Drop-off sites and teen registration are on the website.
Mason is happy her granddaughter, Timaya, 17, “will have a gown and get her hair fixed and feel like the other girls at the prom. That makes me feel so proud, makes me feel so good that I’m getting help with that for her. It builds up her self-esteem, and it builds me up more that I don’t have to worry about that,” she said.
Spencer said what she finds most rewarding is seeing grandparents begin to feel empowered and less ashamed of their situation. “Some grandparents won’t even tell people they have a need because of fear of being judged by others who say, ‘how did you raise your kids that you have to end up taking care of their kids?’ They fear people will blame them for the situation that their adult children are in. But now they’re beginning to talk, that’s what I find rewarding. They’re beginning to learn that they have rights; they’re beginning to know, No. 1, you’re not alone. When they hear that it’s not just them, oh my goodness! The biggest reward for me is seeing grandparents become empowered, knowledgeable and verbal.”
